It is not uncommon for resolutions to start falling by the wayside by mid-February. Perhaps we are overly ambitious at the prospect of a fresh start and a shiny new year. Perhaps we overindulge on the eve of the new year and aspire to things our sober selves would not agree to. Whatever the reason, we fall short of our ambitions.
This entire concept is fairly cliché, and many gym memberships go unused for much of the year due to a failure to follow through. I know this because I talk to people and have done the same thing. Thirty years ago, I made resolutions for the new year that I knew I would not likely keep. Shocker, I know. I like to present this false notion of deep commitments to my ideas and a steely follow-through, but that has not always been the case.
In the past, my failure was due to choosing too many things on which to commit. And of those things, not all of them were super important to me; they were just nice ideas. There is a problem, however, in this lack of follow through and it is more insidious than falling short of an aspiration. It is the internal messaging to our subconscious selves that we don’t do what we say we are going to do. This is very harmful. If you can’t count on yourself, who can you count on?
The reverse of this theory is also true. When you show up for yourself, your subconscious takes note, and there is a small dopamine hit when you follow through. Dopamine is often called the “feel-good” hormone, and it is a chemical message to the brain that is tied to the reward system. It contributes to feelings of satisfaction and pleasure. It is also connected to mood and motivation.
I can’t tell you how many times this past winter I would have preferred to stay bundled up with a cup of coffee and a good book by the fire instead of going for a walk or plunging into my ice hole in north Lake Leelanau. Twenty years ago, I would have stayed indoors and been comfortable, but that version of myself was not aware of the health and psychological wellness benefits of getting out of my comfort zone. It is out of desperation and necessity to fully recover my health and wellness that I started exploring alternative solutions.
I try to set myself up for success by arranging my swimsuit, neoprene booties, towel, and polar plunge parka right by the door. This acts both as a reminder and makes it easier to follow through. I go fully aware that I am sending the message to myself that I am the kind of guy that I can count on. I know that may sound weird, but it is critical to this lesson on how powerful our thoughts and minds are.
Sliding out of the icy waters and wrapping myself up in a towel when the wind is whipping across the lake and the temperatures are in the teens, I tell myself, “I knew I could count on you.” Walking across the ice back to my car, I am positively vibrating with endorphins and dopamine. I imagine my mitochondria powering up and my immune system strengthening. The benefits are far greater than just physical.
As I write this, it occurs to me that perhaps I am a weirdo. The conversations I have with myself are completely normal to me, but I understand that not everyone has them, or they are far less encouraging. Years ago, I wrote a blog about a study done by the University of Maryland School of Medicine that, on average, 80% of our thoughts are negative, and of those, 95% are on a continuous loop. To me, this is shocking and tragic.
Our minds are more powerful than we can ever imagine. A quote that I love that has been attributed to Henry Ford is, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” We control the outcome.
All of this brings me to the main point of this post. On the first of July, we officially begin the second half of the year, and I would suggest that we use it as a new beginning. Instead of piling on a bunch of resolutions for us to do for the remainder of the year, choose one thing that you can do between now and New Year’s Eve that will move you in the right direction. In addition, please set yourself up for success by selecting something that you know you can do, and commit to it.
Choose something that you know is a healthy choice, and you will be proud of yourself when the ball drops at the close of 2025. Each day, you will move closer and closer to your goal and will receive a tiny but growing dopamine dump when you show up for yourself.
Maybe you want to stop drinking Diet Coke, maybe you want to read the bible every day, maybe you know that you should write down one thing for which you are grateful each day, or maybe you want to start a ten-minute walk each day. Whatever it is, make it easy enough to stick with, but challenging enough that you will be proud of your future self. Now is the time to do it. You are sober-minded, you understand a bit more of the psychological benefits of being a person you can count on.
I have found that telling others about your plan is a very effective technique. This is one of the reasons I announced my commitment to walk the entire 500 miles of the Camino de Santiago next year. Once it is out there, you are further on the hook. None of us wants to look like a failure, so having the added accountability adds to the motivation.
In that regard, I would be happy to hold you accountable between now and the end of the year. If you don’t want to tell your family or peers, email me and I promise to help hold you accountable. I will encourage you when you want to drop it in September, and I will celebrate with you when you finish strong.
But don’t for it for me, don’t do it for anyone else. Do it for you because you are worth it, and you are the kind of person who shows up for themselves.