We often use the two above words interchangeably. However, I would submit that there is more than a subtle difference between the two. One is what is expected, and the other goes far beyond expectations.
I spent the entirety of my working career in the service industry of one kind or another, with the three summers as a teenager working in the orchards as the only exception. The financial services industry made up the majority of that time, and I attempted to bring a little hospitality to my efforts. There are two primary reasons for my efforts. Firstly, I saw the services side of the financial services industry as sorely lacking. Many professionals consider service beneath them; this is a grave mistake. The bar for service in almost every industry is so low that just doing what you say you are going to do sets you apart. I saw this as a differentiating factor for our company. The second reason I wanted to focus on hospitality was that I know how much I appreciate receiving it whenever it is afforded to me. I feel special whenever I receive hospitality, and I wanted my clients and friends to feel special as well.
On our recent trip to Greece, we arrived at our hotel in central Athens and had dinner on the rooftop overlooking the Acropolis at sunset. It was truly dreamy. However, the ambiance was the only thing going for it. The service was lacking, and the food uninspired. But these are things you only learn after the fact.
We had yet to stroll the tiny streets, so I suggested we go for a short walk (a fifteen- to twenty-minute walk after a meal reduces blood glucose levels considerably). After a block or so, we encountered a charming outdoor bistro, which I fully intended to pass by. I paused, taking it all in the candlelight, the happy diners, the delicious-looking food, and others strolling along the pedestrian street.
A young man in his early twenties (we’ll call him Dimitris), wearing a tight black t-shirt, an apron, and black pants, approached us in the pause and welcomed us with, “Hello, friends.” In the manner that you would expect in such a locale. I told him that we had just eaten dinner and we were just taking a walk. Undeterred, he handed us a menu and suggested that we might enjoy some dessert. All of this was very cliché, but nagging in the back of my mind was the meal we just ate, which left a lot to be desired.
I desperately wanted to try the gyros I saw at one of the adjacent tables. I mean, I would order my own instead of eating off their plate. Joan humored me, and so this young man seated us at a pleasant table in the cool night air of Athens. With my order placed and beverages on the way, I commenced one of my favorite pastimes- people watching. I inventoried the other tables much as Jason Bourne would have, ascertaining potential threats, noticing peculiarities, and trying to determine their countries of origin. This is not hyperbole or exaggeration; sadly, this is how my brain works.
I noticed the brooding, gray-haired manager pacing back and forth ineffectively. The only thing he was proficient at was working one cigarette after another. I studied the people walking by and imagined a backstory for each of them. The image that kept repeating in this tableau was the smile on Dimitris’ face. Even when he was working hard, he managed a brilliant smile which seemed genuine. I have an instinct for picking out the Eddie Haskell type with the phony smile.
He delivered our food, which was precisely what I had hoped for. Genuine Greek gyros, fresh tzatziki, tomatoes, and cucumbers. It was a feast. He came back several times to see how we were doing. On one such visit, I asked permission to ask him a personal question. He got down to my level and agreed. He seemed to enjoy the challenge. I told him that I noticed that he was always smiling, and where did he find his joy, doing a job which is often thankless.
He told me that he went through a deep depression several years earlier, and when he had had enough, he decided he would choose to be happy. It was a difficult transition, but each day he chose joy. Eventually, it became a habit. He had turned his life around, started to see the beauty and opportunity, and oriented his thinking around that. In fact, that very day, he had moved into his new apartment, and as soon as he finished work, he had the privilege of going home to clean and prepare his new home. He was so excited.
I managed to polish off my second dinner of the evening and was ready to push away from the table and continue our walk. My blood glucose could not be salvaged at this point, but it would be nice to stretch our legs. Dimitris emerged with two desserts that we had not ordered and placed them in front of us. He said, “Since this is your first time in Greece, you need to try our full-fat yogurt and Greek honey.”
I was stuffed, but one spoonful of that amazing concoction, and I believed that I was turning Greek. After we had a few bites of this bliss, he reappeared and genuinely wanted to know what we thought. He was proud to highlight what was uniquely Greek and pleased that we enjoyed it.
I fully expected to see this surprise on the bill, which I would have gladly paid for, but it was absent. I asked him to put it on, but he refused, saying it’s for special friends. I got a tingle of an Eddie Haskell vibe for a split second, but his generous smile melted any doubt away.
I paid with a credit card on a mobile device he carried in his apron. I asked how I could leave a tip, since there were no prompts to add one (we are not in the USA for sure). He assured me that it was not necessary. I told him that I would leave a cash tip in Euros. He refused to accept and told me that it was his pleasure, and I could tip him next time.
We both knew there would be no next time. And I genuinely believe that it was his pleasure taking care of, not only us, but all of the guests he served that night. This event was several weeks ago, and I am still struck by the generous way in which he treated us. I received genuine hospitality that night in the cool air of Athens.
This brings me back to the original point. Service is doing what is required, nothing more. Hospitality is going above and beyond to create a memorable experience for the recipient. Once you experience the difference, you will remember it for a long time.