If my blog a few weeks ago was more like a journal entry, this one is more like a rant from an increasingly curmudgeonly person. I am sure that I am not alone in this void of customer service professionals. You are already with me or soon to be.
I remember fondly the days when a live human would answer the phone (within 3 rings) and be educated to handle just about any question one might have. I even grew up in the days of an “Information” line. For my younger readers, we used to be able to call a local number (local numbers used to be less expensive and in your local zone… never mind, it will take too long to explain) called information, where a human person would literally answer the phone, and you could ask a question. As an example, “What’s the number for ABC Hardware store?” and then, they would read off the number to you. Or, “I’m trying to reach Mr. Johnson on Pleasant Ave, can you tell me his number?”
This is for real, not an exaggeration. These people (usually women) were pre-Google and were very kind and patient. I miss them all. I remember, as a kid, calling, kind of as a joke, to ask about the weather. Another time, I called and asked, “Is this information?”
“Yes,” she responded.
“Which is larger, a king or queen bed?”
“King. Anything else?”
This is the actual exchange. We were gloriously unsophisticated back then. We were also delighted with the lack of customization, automation, self-serve, etc. As an aside, self-serve gas became a thing, also. Before that, you would pull into the service station (emphasis on service) and a guy in a jumpsuit would come to the window of your car, and you would tell them what type of gas you would like. While the pump is running, he would offer to check your fluids- oil, windshield washer solvent, antifreeze, etc. Often, he would wash the windshield for you, too.
As an aside to my recent aside, I believe bringing this back would be hugely popular. I would gladly pay a few more cents per gallon to have this experience. It pains me to see an octogenarian struggling to get out of the car in the freezing cold to pump their own gas. Yes, sometimes I do offer when I see this.
Back to my thesis/rant. We have made enormous advances in technology and automation, but they have become a lazy replacement for actual service. Companies are focused on the bottom line and saving money where they can. This makes sense. However, what they fail to calculate is the frustration in the customer experience and the bitterness that is formed. I have recently had issues with a few of the services we use, and needed to Google an actual contact number or email for these large service providers because it was conspicuously missing from the company’s website.
By the time I actually speak to a live human, perhaps fifteen frustrating minutes have elapsed, while my blood pressure has spiked. I could communicate with the nicest and most caring person in the world when I finally talk with them, but they will have to overcome the frustration their employer has caused me. That hardly seems fair.
Why don’t you just use the AI chatbot, Brian? I can hear some of you saying. These bots are very limited in their responses and make a mockery of service.
J “Hi, I’m Jeffrey, your helpful chatbot. How can I help you today?”
I am using this service because the situation I have encountered is not covered in the site’s FAQ, and I have exhausted all other ways of resolving it on my own.
J “Did you know you can visit our website at www.wedontgiveash*taboutyou.com?”
B “Thanks, Jeffrey. I need to change my login username because the previous one was associated with an email address I no longer have access to. How can I change my profile?”
J “Thanks, BRIAN, are you having trouble logging on? Let me send your information to the email we have on hand.”
Then, on top of that, Jeffrey asks me to rate his service. A bot is asking for feedback on how it failed to help me.
J “Are you still there? How is my service? Please rate below.”
I rate it as a fail. A few seconds later…
J “Hi, I’m Jeffrey, your helpful chatbot. How can I help you today?”
By now, I am fuming and swearing that I will never do business with this company again.
J “Goodbye.”
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been on an automated customer service call, repeatedly asking for a “Representative.”
“Press or say one to hear our hours, press or say two for our mailing address, press or say three because you like the number 3, para Espanol presione numero cuatro, for all other inquiries, please go to our website www.wedontgiveash*taboutyou.com.”
“Representative!” I yell into the handset.
“Press or say one to…”
“Representative.” I interrupt.
“Goodbye.” Followed by a dial tone.
This certainly is a brave new world. I am not really a fan of this brave new world, and I kinda long for the days when you could speak to a live person who would help you because they cared about their company and what they do. I suppose that does indeed make me a curmudgeon, and you know, I’m all right with that.
My Millennial children enjoy the automation and doing everything online and for themselves. If they had their way, they would not have to interact with a human person. I believe this is because they have no idea how things worked before and are very proficient with technology. It’s all they have known, so they have no idea what they are missing. Perhaps that is the corporate long game- enough of us who remember what was and what could be will slowly be replaced through attrition, so they don’t have to worry about meeting the needs of a shrinking generation.
What is lacking from the algorithm, in the race to better profits, is the human factor. I happen to believe that the human connection is far more powerful than they want to acknowledge. Machines may be efficient, dependable, and never have bad days, but they can’t make you feel cared for in the way another person can. And they can’t make you feel heard like you, dear reader. This concludes my rant. Please accept my apologies—something more upbeat next Tuesday.