One of the lingering side effects of my adrenal fatigue is an accelerated heart rate and general anxiety/uneasiness as I get ready for bed. According to my tests, by the afternoon, my body is no longer producing cortisol, and it didn’t take much to manifest any perceived stress into anxiety, and consequently, more stress due to the elevated heart rate. It was a vicious cycle. One in which I was literally at a loss for how to deal with it.
A couple of years ago, my wife could see my demeanor change as I hit the proverbial wall. This would often be around six or seven at night. I became withdrawn, quiet, and easily perturbed. It took all I had to make it to 8:00, a time I rationalized was reasonable to go to bed. Our social life was virtually non-existent, and I felt bad to have to decline any offers that would take me out past eight.
She asked me to describe how I felt. I asked her to remember trips to Disneyland when we would open and close the parks with all our kids in tow. I reminded her of one night in particular when we had stayed for the closing light show at Epcot and were on the far end of the lagoon with our three children, one fully ambulatory, another in the stroller, and the third in my arms. It was dark, we were tired, and we still needed to return the stroller and walk the entire length of the park to get to our car. Once in the car, we needed to join in the parade of cars out of the park and find our way back to the hotel. In a word, we were exhausted. Drained of any extra energy and doing our best to be adults in charge of our beloved children. That is how I feel, each night, exactly.
Last year I had made substantial progress in my energy levels and attended many social events until about 8:00. However, often I would have a racing heart rate and be unable to settle it down to normal in order to get to sleep. I tried melatonin, binaural sound waves, box breathing, relaxation soundtracks, reading, praying, meditating, and many other things, all to no avail. Going to my daughter’s volleyball games, forget about it. I would get myself so worked up that even once we returned home, my heart was elevated to over 100 bpm. Win or lose, it didn’t matter.
Desperate, I saw an ad for a Shakti Mat to help one relax. This is a simple mat that has 6,000 tiny spikes covering it on which you lie down. Think of the bed of nails and the ancient Yogi lying on them. I remember seeing pictures when I was a kid, probably in Guinness Book of World Records, or Believe it or Not. Wherever I saw it, I could have never pictured myself on one, but then again I could have never seen myself crawling into an ice hole in the middle of winter either. It’s funny what desperation can do to a person. I had nothing to lose, so I ordered it.
It arrived. I was excited. I downloaded the free app and listened to the beginner instructional video. I think I may have made it 2 minutes before I called it quits. I wasted my money. This is impossibly uncomfortable. But I am stubborn. The next night, I forced myself to make it past the three-minute mark, which incidentally is about the time that the discomfort goes away and is replaced by a warm, relaxing feeling. I tried listening to multiple different meditations until I found one that was perfect for me. It is 24 minutes long. If you have ever had a one-hour massage, you likely concluded your massage feeling like Jell-O and very mellow. That is how I feel each night.
I bought this mat 272 days ago (as of this writing) and have used it 260 nights. I think the nights I missed, I was out of town and didn’t bring it, but I have since packed it into my case and even used it each night while living on a sailboat in the BVI.
Most nights I fall asleep on it and am awakened by the voice which says, “Slowly bring yourself back to awareness.” I pull myself away from the mat and crawl into bed, and am back asleep in less than three minutes.
Something about this activity interrupts my busy brain and manages to engage the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is the fight or flight response, which frankly isn’t all that sympathetic. The Parasympathetic nervous system is the rest and relax response, and I can attest it is fully activated for me. I can’t really spend time thinking while on the mat, so worry and busy brain simply melt away. My heart rate drops to the low 60s within minutes, regardless of how high it may have been.
This past Fall, after a particularly stressful volleyball tournament (which our girls won), I was so worked up that when I got home at around 9:00 pm, my heart was still at the game and racing at over 110 bpm. I didn’t worry, I wasn’t stressed, I just got on my mat and within 5 minutes it was down to 62. Magic. I found the silver bullet. My mind swiftly transitioned away from the cheering of the fans and loud whistles and was elsewhere, for lack of a better term.
Remember when your kids were little and as soon as they got in their car seat at night, they were fast asleep, at least that was our experience. Or back when we were kids, it may have been warm milk and a story. By the way, warm milk is disgusting. Life was innocent back when we were kids. Toddlers don’t have the worries of modern life, they don’t have busy brains or stress like we do. They have two modes: On and Off. That’s it. Simple.
I feel like I have traveled back in time and figured out how to activate the Off switch again. My dad doesn’t have to carry me from the car and gently place me in my bed. When he didn’t wake me to brush my teeth, it was a big win. All I have to do is pull myself off my mat and crawl between the covers, and I am gone.
I would not have believed it if I hadn’t tried. Many of you likely will not believe it either. You may be thinking, there is no way I could endure such agony. If you are desperate enough, if you are tired enough, if you are sick with worry over how much you worry at night, you will try almost anything… even lying on a bed of nails.